June Faces of Health Representative: Vera Lobdell

At the age of 13, Vera lost her father to suicide, a subject that is rarely discussed and continues to hold great stigma even forty years later. “I would cringe when anyone would ask me how he died,” she said. “I was stricken with embarrassment and regret.”

“On a sunny day in October of 1977,” she recalled, “my father was standing on the back porch with his back to me. I felt in my gut that something wasn’t right and I wanted to say ‘I love you,’ but I couldn’t form the words. Later that evening, search helicopters found my hero, who had lost all hope. As a child, I would not allow myself to think about my father’s death. It was important to me that my remaining memories of him be good, living memories.”

While facing a divorce years later, Vera worked through the hurt and pain of her past. “I learned that I was not responsible for my father’s death and I could not control everything,” Vera said with confidence. “Blessed with two beautiful children, I had to step up to the plate for them. I also realized that it is impossible to rationalize an irrational mind.”

Everyone faces tragedy in their lives, but Vera has had more than her fair share of heartache. She lived through the death of her father, a devastating fire that destroyed the family home, the end of her twenty-two year marriage, the loss of her mother and sister to cancer as well as the news that she had breast cancer. Instead of becoming withdrawn, she chose to stand strong. “Since my cancer diagnosis, I don’t take anything for granted,” Vera said.

Vera teaches kindergarten-age children and impresses upon them the importance of not becoming a victim. “Everyone is capable of achieving great things,” Vera remarked with a smile. If they are taught coping skills this early in life, it will help them to become independent adults, and that is what I want for them. We will all feel despair in some regard, but we have to learn to be bold and have the strength to continue. Life is precious.”

Vera has turned her years of despair into a positive venture called “Life Happens.” She has launched a website and designed T-shirts that are sold to benefit suicide prevention. “I really struggled to tell my story, but it needed to be told, out of respect for my father,” she said. “He was a wonderful father and a great provider. Sadly, suicide is on the rise and shatters too many lives. I want to reach out to others and help relieve their anguish. We have to stop considering the subject of suicide as taboo.”

Survivors of Suicide, a local support group that is sponsored by the Crawford County Suicide Task Force, was founded 18 months ago. Vera and David Kerr, facilitators for the group, welcome new members. Meetings are held the second Tuesday of each month from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the Lew Davies Community Center. If you need someone that will listen and lend an understanding ear, email Vera at lobdell.v@gmail.com.

We are proud to introduce our June Faces of Health Representative, Vera Lobdell.