June Faces of Health Representative: Vera Lobdell
"Life Happens"
At the age of 13, Vera lost her father to suicide, a subject that is rarely
discussed and continues to hold great stigma even forty years later. “I
would cringe when anyone would ask me how he died,” she said. “I
was stricken with embarrassment and regret.”
“On a sunny day in October of 1977,” she recalled, “my
father was standing on the back porch with his back to me. I felt in my
gut that something wasn’t right and I wanted to say ‘I love
you,’ but I couldn’t form the words. Later that evening, search
helicopters found my hero, who had lost all hope. As a child, I would
not allow myself to think about my father’s death. It was important
to me that my remaining memories of him be good, living memories.”
While facing a divorce years later, Vera worked through the hurt and pain
of her past. “I learned that I was not responsible for my father’s
death and I could not control everything,” Vera said with confidence.
“Blessed with two beautiful children, I had to step up to the plate
for them. I also realized that it is impossible to rationalize an irrational
mind.”
Everyone faces tragedy in their lives, but Vera has had more than her
fair share of heartache. She lived through the death of her father, a
devastating fire that destroyed the family home, the end of her twenty-two
year marriage, the loss of her mother and sister to cancer as well as
the news that she had breast cancer. Instead of becoming withdrawn, she
chose to stand strong. “Since my cancer diagnosis, I don’t
take anything for granted,” Vera said.
Vera teaches kindergarten-age children and impresses upon them the importance
of not becoming a victim. “Everyone is capable of achieving great
things,” Vera remarked with a smile. If they are taught coping skills
this early in life, it will help them to become independent adults, and
that is what I want for them. We will all feel despair in some regard,
but we have to learn to be bold and have the strength to continue. Life
is precious.”
Vera has turned her years of despair into a positive venture called “Life
Happens.” She has launched a website and designed T-shirts that
are sold to benefit suicide prevention. “I really struggled to tell
my story, but it needed to be told, out of respect for my father,”
she said. “He was a wonderful father and a great provider. Sadly,
suicide is on the rise and shatters too many lives. I want to reach out
to others and help relieve their anguish. We have to stop considering
the subject of suicide as taboo.”
Survivors of Suicide, a local support group that is sponsored by the Crawford
County Suicide Task Force, was founded 18 months ago. Vera and David Kerr,
facilitators for the group, welcome new members. Meetings are held the
second Tuesday of each month from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the Lew Davies Community
Center. If you need someone that will listen and lend an understanding
ear, email Vera at lobdell.v@gmail.com.
We are proud to introduce our June Faces of Health Representative, Vera Lobdell.